Tax Time
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells himthat she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need toask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social securitynumber, etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?"
"I'm a prostitute," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says," Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end callgirl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says,"I'm an elite chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farminghave to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers lastyear."
"Chicken Farmer it is."
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A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices afrog sitting next to the green. Hethinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9Iron.." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him tothe next hole.
"What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled anddoesn't know what to say.By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asksthe frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas.
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says,"OK frog, now what?"The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The manasks, "What do you think I should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits thefrog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forevergrateful."
The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl."
“And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William JeffersonClinton."
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells himthat she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need toask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social securitynumber, etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?"
"I'm a prostitute," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says," Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end callgirl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says,"I'm an elite chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farminghave to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers lastyear."
"Chicken Farmer it is."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices afrog sitting next to the green. Hethinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9Iron.." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him tothe next hole.
"What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled anddoesn't know what to say.By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asksthe frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas.
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says,"OK frog, now what?"The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The manasks, "What do you think I should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits thefrog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forevergrateful."
The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl."
“And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William JeffersonClinton."