Humor

[BruceK]

Not wanting to cause dissension between our friends across the Pacific, but

 

[FoxtrotCharlie]

Do you know what vegetables are banned on boats? Leeks

 

[RT Firefly]

 

[BruceK]

 

[SteveK]

Telus has an extended mileage option

 

[KnotYet]

THEQUALIFIEDCAPTAIN on Instagram: "Crazy crash in Monaco today!! Nobody was onboard or hurt. VERY lucky!!! Properly wearing an engine cut off switch would have prevented this! Please wear them. Consider buying the wireless options if you don’t want to wear the lanyard. @daltonsargeant With support from the Sport Fish Restoration and Boating Trust Fund, administered by the U.S. Coast Guard #qualified #enginecutoffswitch #wearit #unbelievable #scaryshit #luckyisanunderstatement #cominginhot #youcantparkthere #wow #nojoke #staysafe"
But several new pairs of shorts were needed! The comments are predictably funny.

 

[BruceK]

 

[BruceK]

A man is dining alone in a hotel restaurant when the lady dining alone at the next table sneezes violently and to his surprise her left glass eye flies out, which he fortuitously catches and returns to her. The lady thanks him profusely, and invites him to join her for dinner. She insists on taking the dinner and drinks bill for them both, and invites him to her suite for a nightcap. One thing leads to another and next morning they enjoy room service breakfast together. As he prepares to leave the man thanks her and asks " I`m curious, are you often attracted to a man you meet over dinner?". "Not usually" she replies, " you just caught my eye".

 

[BruceK]

Note: post above self reported for the humorless. And it worked.

 

[O C Diver]

Quote of the day:

In the aftermath of Hurricane Helene, you're reminded that a friendly local redneck is more helpful than a thousand PHDs working for the federal government in DC.

Ted

 

[FWT]

Good one

Here’s another

Next tax season I’m a just give’em $750 and tell’em it’s all I can do…

 

[BruceK]

Went to see a physic the other day.
Knocked on the door, she called out "Who is it"?
I went home.

 

[SIBERNUT]

A snail was tired of going slow his whole liife. He put all his money together and bought a souped up car. On the door he put a big red S.
And all the people said "Lookit that S car go!!"

 

[BruceK]

May help to be Jewish(or even Jew-ish) to get this "Joke of the Day" from the breakfast presenter on my local community FM station. An older Jewish man was involved in an auto accident. The paramedics attended to his injuries and pain relief and loaded him into the ambulance. One said to him, "we`ll be at the hospital in around 8 minutes. Are you comfortable?" He replied, deadpan, a trace of central European accent" I make a living".