O what a wonderful day it will be!!
For the moment set aside for whom you are cheering and savor the outcome regardless.
'O WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY IT WILL BE!!
1. President Ted Cruz and Vice President Carly Fiorina are sworn
into office.
2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an
emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist
healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Director of Health and
Social Services, Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of
healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare
services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the
duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud. Government’s costs
for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance
premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves
billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S
improves 100%.
3. Newly appointed department of Homeland Security Chief Joe
Arapio (former sheriff of Maricopa County, AZ) announces the immediate
deployment of Troops to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal
immigration and the immediate deportation of illegals with criminal
records or links to terrorist groups. New bio-encrypted Social
Security ID’s are required by every American citizen. Birthright
citizenship is abolished. All immigration from countries that represent
a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely.
The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons
are closed.
4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic
Development Paul Ryan eliminates more than half of the Government
agencies operating under the Obama administration saving taxpayers
billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%.
5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Rand Paul
announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new
Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions
consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves
American taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.
6. Hillary Clinton is in jail, where she belongs. Her cell is
directly across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time
for ‘Hate Crimes." She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars
of her cell in what some might call cruel and unusual punishment.
7. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is
directly across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris
Matthews and Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at ten and
discuss the success and benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout
the world. They also wonder when the “Mothership” is going to pick
them up and return them to their home planets.
8. Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans, doesn’t try
to satisfy the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require a
degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7
except it is easier to use.
9. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness and
returns to his homeland of Kenya before his trial for treason begins.
He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was
last seen wandering through the jungle singing “Hakuna Matata” with a
chimp named Commie.
10. Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and fat
free pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni.
11. Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods announces the introduction of
several varieties of cholesterol and fat free cheeses that taste just
like regular cheese.
12. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global
cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.
13. Jennifer Anniston calls me, crying. She tells me it was a big
mistake dumping me and begs me to take her back. I decline, explaining
that I am happily married. She is devastated and cries for days.
Justice is served.
14. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow
for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois.
15. I receive a call from an attorney in Ireland. He explains that I
have inherited a brewery and coastal estate in Ireland from a distant
relative and that I need to be in Dublin as soon as possible to sign
the papers. Ten hours later we tour our new vacation home. There is a
red Ferrari in the garage, also part of the inheritance.
And this my friends constitutes A GREAT DAY!!!!!! January 20, 2017
Just 419 days (from today) left until Obama’s term expires...but who's
counting?