Humor

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Kind of a cool way to take a casket to the cemetery.
A funeral procession pulled into cemetery near Beaufort, SC.
Several car loads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

A passer-by remarked: "That guy must have been a really avid fisherman."

"Oh, very much so," responded one of the mourners.

"As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife
 

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This Brunette comes home from a wild party and her sister who is a Blonde meets her at the door and asked "how was the party?"
Brunette: "It was great I had sex with a Brazilian "
Blonde: "OMG your're such a slut I can't believe you and by the way just how many is a brazilian?"
 
This Brunette comes home from a wild party and her sister who is a Blonde meets her at the door and asked "how was the party?"
Brunette: "It was great I had sex with a Brazilian "
Blonde: "OMG your're such a slut I can't believe you and by the way just how many is a brazilian?"

13 :thumb:
 
This Brunette comes home from a wild party and her sister who is a Blonde meets her at the door and asked "how was the party?"
Brunette: "It was great I had sex with a Brazilian "
Blonde: "OMG your're such a slut I can't believe you and by the way just how many is a brazilian?"
Hmmmm, I wonder if any of the Brazillian were destined to be a future Supreme Court Justice?
 
A guy brings his best golf buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after enjoying a day of golf.

His wife screams her head off while his friend sits at the kitchen table, open mouthed, listening to the tirade.

"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess and the dishes are still in the sink. I’m completely exhausted! I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Can't you see I'm still in my pajamas? I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the did you bring him home without letting me know ahead of time!?"

“Because ...

he’s thinking of getting married..."
 
Lifted this off another boating site...

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool.
One of them says to the bartender, don't mind us; as you can see, we're joined side by side at the hip. I'm John, he's Tim. Two Molson Canadian draft beers, please.
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. Been on vacation yet, boys? the barkeep asks.
Off to England next month, says John, we go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Tim?
Tim agrees.
Ah, England . . . says the bartender. What wonderful country . . . the history, the beer, the culture.
Nah, we don't like any of that British stuff, says John.
Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Tim and we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude, their food is bland, their beer tastes like warm cat piss, and their women are ugly.
The bartender asks: Then why keep going to England ???
John replies, It's the only chance Tim gets to drive.
 
Dangit!
 

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Golfer and the bee

​A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

The pain was so intense that she decided to return to the club house.
Her club golf pro saw her coming in and asked her "Why are you back so early? What's wrong?”

“I was stung by a bee.”

“Where?” he asked.

"Between the first and second hole.” she replied

He nodded knowingly and said "Then your stance is too wide."
 
For cat lovers
 

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As with a lot of humor, a bit of ironic truth in the Viagra vs Alzheimer's joke. Sometimes too, truth rivals fiction...

In running the clinical trials, they found a most interesting side effect of the drug in men, lasting erections.

Not a timely response, but some more humorous detail I heard on this. I heard this from a member of the Cardiology faculty at U. Wash. Medical School c.2003. He had been a part of the oriignal clinical trial by Pfizer in the past.

He told us the actual way they found out about the side effects was that the trial patients kept refusing to return the unused drugs. They had kept doing clinical observations on them and didn’t find the cardiac results they wanted, despite really high hopes. Only when they started asking more detailed questions did they find out what was really going on.

He even said they had more than one case were the wives called the doctors, begging them to stop the trial/take the drugs back because they couldn’t stand all the, ahem, “extra attention” any more. ;)
 

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