RT Firefly
Enigma
Greetings,
Mr. b. Post #118 nails it. So where are the boat pictures?
Mr. b. Post #118 nails it. So where are the boat pictures?
Greetings,
Mr. b. Post #118 nails it. So where are the boat pictures?
Thanks Dan. I intend to. ...
Better than living with regrets because I gave up my biggest passion for someone I'll likely grow to resent...
Hmm, as one of the ladies....it’s not about the boat, it’s about honesty in a relationship. I’ve seen similar cases where the couple jointly agree they will (or will not) have children, and then one changes his/her mind.
That said, there’s something about the tenor of this and many other discussions on this forum that sets my teeth on edge. Perhaps it’s the unspoken suggestion that women are interchangeable units, and they (we) are just hanging around waiting for a man, any man!
If one woman doesn’t work for you, just go get another!
Having worked in an industry where knowledge workers started to be treated as interchangeable units, I am pretty sensitive to anything where people are not seen as individual, but rather just units that fit a category...
I realize that the boating population leans heavily to the male side, but seeing women very often referred to as a category (“the wife” or “the girlfriend”) rather than as an individual is hard to take.
Correct. I don't have a boat right now. If I were buying today, I'd be in the market for something like this '05 Pachoud 86 foot. I'm very busy with my businesses right now, though, I'm only 43 and what I really, really want is a Silent 80 3-Deck. I can't afford that today, but if everything goes as planned I'd like to sell one of my businesses by the time I'm 50 and maybe be lucky enough to find a gently used Silent 80 or similar for the money I get from the biz.I don't think he has a boat at present time
Definitely not. I got snipped a decade ago. That's another thing I was very up front about when I met this girl, she said she was okay with not having children. That didn't stop her from snapping at me a week ago, "If I don't get a baby then you don't get a boat." I couldn't help but laugh as I told her, "No, that's not at all how this works. If you suddenly want a baby now, you better get looking for another man right away."It does give kids some legal clout, but doubt that's in the picture at 40.
This is looking more and more likely by the day.all I can say is run. even if you don't buy a boat run anyway.
Correct. I don't have a boat right now. If I were buying today, I'd be in the market for something like this '05 Pachoud 86 foot. I'm very busy with my businesses right now, though, I'm only 43 and what I really, really want is a Silent 80 3-Deck. I can't afford that today, but if everything goes as planned I'd like to sell one of my businesses by the time I'm 50 and maybe be lucky enough to find a gently used Silent 80 or similar for the money I get from the biz.
Definitely not. I got snipped a decade ago. That's another thing I was very up front about when I met this girl, she said she was okay with not having children. That didn't stop her from snapping at me a week ago, "If I don't get a baby then you don't get a boat." I couldn't help but laugh as I told her, "No, that's not at all how this works. If you suddenly want a baby now, you better get looking for another man right away."
Marriage is simply not going to happen at this point. Her behavior is very concerning. She keeps trying to exert control over me on major life decisions and getting upset when she finds that she can't.
This is looking more and more likely by the day.
My final wife..... I had a prenup. When she realized she was not going to get the "keys to the kingdom", she moved on. Even with the prenup, it cost me about $100K. Best money I could have spent.
Boatlife,
Didn't mean to say someone wouldn't end up paying... BUT the only reason for marriage today is to protect kids when the parents fight and the kid gets left out. Without the kids, I could argue that the parents duke it out, take their lumps and don't make that same mistake. But... people do.
Sometimes she doesn't. My wife refused to get a job. Even after the kids were in school full time she still wouldn't work. Just sat at home and made messes that I'd have to clean up after a long day at the office. I begged her to work, she refused. It would have really helped, especially early in the marriage when my career was just getting started and we were living paycheck to paycheck and racking up credit card debt any time there was an emergency because we had no savings.I'm not so sure how marriage protects the kids, but it certainly protects the stay at home mom. Not saying she doesn't deserve it.
Sometimes she doesn't. My wife refused to get a job. Even after the kids were in school full time she still wouldn't work. Just sat at home and made messes that I'd have to clean up after a long day at the office. I begged her to work, she refused. It would have really helped, especially early in the marriage when my career was just getting started and we were living paycheck to paycheck and racking up credit card debt any time there was an emergency because we had no savings.
Of course her "lack of work experience" was used against me in the divorce to take more of our assets. That stung. I asked my lawyer "So because she got a free ride the last 15 years, she gets more than half our estate and a bigger chunk of my income for the next decade to continue the free ride?" Yep. That's how it works, and the women I've met post-divorce can't understand why I'm not eager to walk them down the aisle.
If you think taking home of the house and the kids is a free ride, then good luck because you need it.
And even more of a sting, she can move in with another guy and not get married and you still have to pay her. I don't know how we got to these laws but it seems they could use a little rework.
In my case, married over 40 yrs to the same woman, I would have no qualms about giving her half of what we have even though I earned most of it. She took care of the house and kids while I went to school and work. We started with nothing and she deserves half of whatever we built together. That's probably why we have the laws we do, but it's rarely even close to fair in most cases.
100K is a bargain. A friend of mine is about to give up 1M+.
I certainly don't. Keeping a home and raising children is incredibly hard work. I did most of that, too... at any rate, I was happy to give her half, it was the demand for more that stung because I really could have used her help financially over the years. It was tough being a single income household in my twenties.If you think taking home of the house and the kids is a free ride, then good luck because you need it.
Greetings,
Mr. OD. Please send picture of the boat. (Sorry, old joke. Probably older than you....Nawww.)
RTF, Fishing IS a waste of time. Now CATCHING, that's something totally different!
Jennifer O'Neill was my heart-throb 50 years ago. She's been married eight times (but never married to me, and we've never met or communicated)! ... Choose wisely!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_O'Neill
I know I'll get some flack, but gotta respond to the "housework is a really hard full time job... especially with kids" or the like comments. To which I respond RUBISH!
It's part of just living life, and there's 1000s of folks that do this WITH a full time job, so how the heck is taking care of the house a hard, full time job.
The "stay at home" spouse to manage things and take care of the kids, is the easiest job in the world. Easy to manage your time, send the kid(s) off to school, watch the morning soaps, have lunch with the other lazy spouses, more soaps, perhaps mess with the garden, read the news, have a beer. Meet the kid after school, and send them out to play. And bitch when the working spouse comes home from work and doesn't make your dinner to your liking.......
Off my soap box!
I have the same concerns about my boat compromise. I know she's going to get upset when I want to spend time on the boat. She already gets upset when she catches me looking at videos of boats or reading boating forums & magazines, etc. There's no way she's going to suddenly be okay with me being gone for days to weeks at a time. If we have a home base like she wants, that really limits my exploration potential. At some point I'm going to tire of exploring the same area, point the bow toward another continent and just go.She was always making on about being upset that I was spending my vacations exploring the US byways, and felt that I needed to "settle down" and give up my adventurous ways. That was a strong no from me.
Your first paragraph suggests she is prepared to tolerate a boat if there is still a house on land, and short more local cruises. It`s quite different from your first paragraph where she saw the boat as a black snake she would not touch, ever, at all.I have the same concerns about my boat compromise. I know she's going to get upset when I want to spend time on the boat. She already gets upset when she catches me looking at videos of boats or reading boating forums & magazines, etc. There's no way she's going to suddenly be okay with me being gone for days to weeks at a time. If we have a home base like she wants, that really limits my exploration potential. At some point I'm going to tire of exploring the same area, point the bow toward another continent and just go.
I really think I need a partner who truly wants to live on a boat. It's been a passion of mine for far too long to just give it up.