The absolute best time to cross a bar is high tide, slack water. The absolute worst time is wind coming in and the tide going out. The combination can make huge, close together waves. I crossed North Pacific Coast bars hundreds of times. Mostly in a fishing boat that cruised between 7 and 9 knots. The bad ones I always plan, like Eureka and some of the little Oregon ports.
Once leaving SF, at exactly the worst time, I dipped my fishing boat into 3 consecutive waves that broke somewhere over the wheel house. Nothing but green water out the windows. And SF doesn't really have a bar, just a huge tide volume.
If I have to cross a bar at the end of a trip, I plan my cruise speed to hit the best conditions. If you cruise in good weather, 99% of the time it's easy.