Happy wife happy life? Hmmm

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You need less boat. Less money and hours to fix less to go wrong. Same pleasure maybe more. I go over my boat before every trip and fix what what needs fixing right after. My parents did some cruising my mom hated it because it was like a second home it was no vacation she was cooking and cleaning. My wife is not all in so I try and make it as easy and carefree for her as possible and she knows I love the boat so she humors me.
 
She could be afraid

Many women are scared of cruising on a boat. It's often because they don't know enough about it and certainly don't feel they can take over if need be. I did not want to be in that position, so I went out with boaters other than my husband to learn and gain confidence. This was a sailboat, but we now have a trawler and I would say the same applies. Unfortunately, the desire to learn is up to the person. I don't think it can be forced.

The fear factor may not be it. It may just be not wanting to deal with the inconveniences one experiences on boats. I've had friends tell me that they can't understand how I can deal with roughing it, even if it's considered a dream boat.

Vicki
 
Beach House said:
I feel sad for you having to wrestle with this dilemma. But as a female who has learned to read between the lines of female friends, I'm thinking she may be trying to say, "I'm not getting enough attention." That is a big boat you have!! Is there a way you could be happy with a smaller boat that didn't demand as much of your time? Did your wife ever enjoy the boat? If the answer is yes, what was different during that time? You wrote that "I love my boat," how about your wife? Best of luck to you and your wife.
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Or get a bigger, more comfortable boat and get her on full time living the dream together.
 
Did you try making sweet passionate love to her all around the boat in beautiful isolated locations? Worked for my current girlfriend.
 
mvweebles said:
Oh boy, if you guys are posing ultimatums to each other, tough times ahead. More at play here I'm sure.

Marina I'm at in Ensenada has several aged-out cruisers. Two of whom are 80-ish and lost their wives in the last few years. "It's no fun alone" is a common refrain.

Peter
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I'm 92ish. Lost my wife there years ago. Loved her deeply. Miss her terribly. If I didn't have a boat to mess around on and cruise from time to time, I'd go nuts.
 
2savage said:
Not working out too well for me. She says: 'it's too complicated, things are always needing work, stuff breaks and I'm fed up with it'.

I've asked fellow marina buddies and we're all agreed. Sure, stuff needs work, breaks and yes, boats can be complex. I'm a competent mechanic, electrician, woodworker and can refinish as needed.

I'm at a crossroads. I love the boat and have plenty of skin in the game (and blood). But is it worth a divorce?

Thankfully I'm a car guy too and may have to switch to my other passion just to keep my wife happy. Will I regret this? Can a person be just as happy touring Europe in a classic car instead of a classic trawler?

I am indeed getting old and have a few medical issues. But can I live with saying OK, I'll sell the boat so we can be happy together?
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My boat is not called Happy Wife for a reason.
She needs to be happy and have the same dreams, goals and aspirations.

With that being said my wife had helped many an unhappy wife become a happy wife.

Feel free to reach out if you want her help
 
Not always a sex thing. I’m the avid boater, husband makes same complaints as wife of original poster. He spends his work life fixing problems in humans and doesn’t have a lot of interest in fixing boat things. I’m not especially handy. The benefits of the boat so far prevail and I hope it continues!
 
The Perfect Plan?

Knew a guy in his sixteys, back when I was in my forties, who related the story that his wife was a becoming more and more reluctant about coming out in the boat, using every excuse not to go. Particularly for longer trips or even weekends. His boating passion was looking like being drowned.
This guy decided that he would cut out any love making at home, but became very enthusiastic when they were out in the boat.
Well things soon turned around, the wife was coming out every weekend, even wanted to spend holidays for weeks at a time on the boat.
Now I'm in my sixties it seems like a great idea to keep the wife interested in boating?
 
This is an awesome post with many different perspectives. I think context is important. There is nothing wrong with venting to an anonymous crowd on a topic that many of us have ourselves wondered about. My only comment would be you need to figure each other out and be honest and open.. No one here is a mind reader. If you don't think the lifestyle is for you, communicate it to your significant other. There is a lot at stake. Parting ways is painful after a life long dream of planning together.

On a similar topic, are there any single 60 yr old women looking to live on a boat in CT?

How do I revise my signature line?
 
Sharing is caring.

Absolutely loving the responses from fellow TF members. I’m sure we can all assimilate to many of the words of wisdom ! We too have our beautiful boat for sale, however, it’s a joint decision - we both love the boat, hiwever, hmmpf, time to move on to something else .. no doubt another boat.
I will leave you with one comment my father said to me many years ago when we got into boating in a more serious way .. after a day of cruising on our yacht at the time he looked at me and said ..” … looks like I passed the boating gene on to you .. sorry about that “.. I immediately replied ..” .. nothing to be sorry about.. I love it” !
Beware sellers remorse !
Cheers.
 
I've been reading this thread with interest, but I keep thinking - we have a very comfortable, perfectly adequate boat for my wife and me and two boys, but she really wants a Carver C40 flybridge. We looked at one at a boat show a couple years ago, and now she's obsessed, fell in love with it. Looks like they run around $400k lately. We keep waiting for the prices to come down as they age, but nothing so far. Just not in the mood to drop that much money, just craziness - so I guess that means I'm the drag on our boating ambitions right now, not her.

She keeps buying lottery tickets to fund the Carver.

https://www.yachtworld.com/yacht/2014-carver-c40-8983941/
 
End of day sit down with her and Star a conversation.

Honey I love to boat but it seems you don’t find it much fun. How can we change things so you’d enjoy it? F that goes south then- If you think you never will wha else do you want to do?
 
Is the OP anywhere to be found in this thread?
Perhaps he is...
Busy moving his stuff out of the house to the boat?
Busy fixing the boat and pretending there is no problem with the relationship?
Busy with a marriage counselor?
Busy making whoopee in exotic places (cockpit of course)?
 
Kind of like when AI reaches sentience, I think this thread has taken on an independent life of its own and the OP has faded into obscurity.
 
Last Activity: 09-20-2023 07:33 PM

Let's hope they have gone on a nice vacation, with or without the boat
 
Just paid closer attention to his boat and the avatar photo. That's a beautiful boat. I'd have a hard time walking away from a boat like that.
 
kthoennes said:
I've been reading this thread with interest, but I keep thinking - we have a very comfortable, perfectly adequate boat for my wife and me and two boys, but she really wants a Carver C40 flybridge. We looked at one at a boat show a couple years ago, and now she's obsessed, fell in love with it. Looks like they run around $400k lately. We keep waiting for the prices to come down as they age, but nothing so far. Just not in the mood to drop that much money, just craziness - so I guess that means I'm the drag on our boating ambitions right now, not her.

She keeps buying lottery tickets to fund the Carver.

https://www.yachtworld.com/yacht/2014-carver-c40-8983941/
Click to expand...


Great boat, but lacking a few "must haves".... I don't see a lower helm, and looks pretty difficult to walk around the exterior, especially for docking/locking. But.... it's what SHE wants. I succumb to my ladies want for the 430 Mainship which I ended up liking more than I thought I would.
 
Joining this thread to see if the OP returns and comments on any of the comments, following the haul-out.
 
kthoennes said:
Just paid closer attention to his boat and the avatar photo. That's a beautiful boat. I'd have a hard time walking away from a boat like that.
Click to expand...


Search in YouTube. It's an amazing boat that leaves an incredible impression. I could only wish
 
So, is the consensus, keep boat, wife to choose stay or go.
 
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