If I really need something and the admiral is below decks, I yell at the top of my lungs and stomp on the deck. She yells back--"why are you yelling at me". I then take the next 10 minutes explaining that I wasn't yelling--just talking loudly enough to be heard, then I spend the rest of the afternoon soothing hurt feelings and the evening at anchorage waiting on her hand and foot. It seems to work well for her. Me, not so much.
Must have missed this thread... came in at this post #74; plan to do cursory review of most previous posts. Must say... this post interests he greatly.
Poach - I'm in pretty much the
same "boat" you are.
In that... when I need to raise my voice or make other noticeable accompanying noises to be sure to be heard by my gal she too thinks I'm
YELLING at her. What she finds difficult to get grasp of is that although for one reason or another I have need to yell for getting her attention and to make sure she understands my words - I am not yelling
at her, but rather
for her! Being that I was blessed with a booming voice that is audible for distances I have learned to “tone” it down for her (much as possible that is – lol) and she is better learning to realize that my increased volume is not meant to be yelling at her – at all. So far we are twenty (20) years into this co-op learning experience… OMG!
Seven years ago we had unexpected need for quick actions aboard our Tolly in a harbor with great winds that suddenly arose. Needless to say when there is calamity near-approaching and actions must be immediately taken to reach a positive outcome; as result, my commands become definite and voice amplification level goes off the charts. Anyway… after that incident, for which we came out clean, we anchored in different location. Took hours of my consoling/convincing her (tears ensued) that I was not yelling at her but rather for her so she could be sure all my needs were meet in that incident’s limited crunch-time that was allotted.
Proof that our communication skills are getting better honed into compatible sequences. Some months ago, very early morning, at dawn… there was another potential calamity filled circumstance that suddenly arose. She was still in full slumber in master state room with door closed. My voice hit full tilt bogie as I ascended to the bridge. Suffice it to say that she did get up immediately and worked on deck to assist my maneuvers for averting damage. At successful close of incident she was smiling, so was I; each because we had worked as the team we are and she finally realized I was not yelling commands
at her but rather
for her.
Amazing how pleasure-boat Captains will bend over backwards to make sure minute to minute / hour to hour/ day to day / year to year events on board boat and having to do with boating are pleasurable for their Admiral. Equally amazing how during really dangerous crunch-times all that keep em happy/fuzzy-feeling stuff instantly ceases and Orders from Captain MUST be followed to the “T”. I guess it’s the sudden change of relaxed warm n’ fuzzy feelings to DO-IT-NOW Orders that is difficult for our warm n’ fuzzy loven Admirals to clearly comprehend. We do the gentle voice warm n’ fuzzy items for them and ourselves too… we also, when required, do the loud command-orders for them and us too – That “loud demanding/commanding time sequance” keeps their and our asses out of some big, bad jambs!
For general doings when my voice gets loud (I simply never learned to whisper in general conversation) She will say – “You’re beginning to yell at me”. I simply say No – For You! Then I do try to lower my decibels… at least for a while! - LOL
Happy Communication Daze! - Art