As to leaving money for kids and others. We will protect ourselves but we will also distribute money to those younger and close to us along the way to help make their lives as easy as possible.
One example that shows our plan. We have a girl who we consider a daughter and she considers us her parents even though we first met her right before her 18th birthday. At 18, she had no idea what she wanted to do in life, but started at community college and taking a variety of courses and it hit. She got her degree, masters and doctorate and today is running our Foundation. We never pushed her at all in that or any direction. However, she has had one advantage and that is she never had to consider money in choosing a career. We pay her well and gift her well each year. We will do more. She's in a job that anyone has to ultimately burn out to some degree in. I sure would quickly. She knows when that time comes, if it does, she's protected. We do give her lots of vacation because when you're dealing with the problems of people every day on your job, you need time away from it. Stress on a job isn't worrying about making a dollar, it's when you worry about being able to help someone who is really in need.
We could have told her she never needed to work, she'd be taken care of. Or, we could have told her she was on her own. We feel like we found the middle ground that works for us.
There are also other "family" members, young persons we're close to. We will always to extra for them but they all are good kids and hard workers. Are we spoiling them all? Perhaps although they don't come to us asking for anything ever. We just do it when we choose so I don't consider that spoiling them. Regardless, that's the path we've chosen.