Surveyor’s Tales the Naked Truth

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garbler

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Aug 7, 2020
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NC
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I’d been working as a start up surveyor for about seven months and was used primarily for wooden hull inspections as that was my background. I got back to the office one day about three hours early as the boat I was to have surveyed was such a wreck the buyer backed out at my suggestion. When I walked in the office the secretary who spent her entire life around tuna boats and/or working in a cannery and knew the waterfront says to me Rick can you do Bill ( the owner ) a favor ? I figure sure I could use the points what is it. She tells me it is an old customer who lives on a converted wood halibut schooner and she has a leak or two and needs advice right now. You’ll like her cause she was a circus trapeze star for years and has a lot of good stories. Okay I’ll go right now call her and tell her I’m coming.

Well the boat was laying at an old Fellows & Stewart facility in Los Angeles Harbor and was easy to find as halibut boat conversions aren’t easy to hide? I tap on the deck a few times and the lady yells come on in. I can hear opera style music playing but I open the companionway and step down into the saloon. It’s pretty dark and I can just barely make out a number of cats scurrying around and the place smells like cats if you know what I mean. What is it with old ladies and herds of cats anyway ?

I could see her setting at the table but my eyes weren’t completely adjusted. So I gave her my name as usual then stepped up to the table to place my business card on it. That’s when my eyes got into focus and I noticed this old lady is completely bare ass naked ! Oh no what’s going on here, my feeble brain is racing, so do I run or play this out ? She must be in her 80’s with long white hair big bright red strange looking ear rings like a Gypsy might wear in the movies, and not a stitch of clothing on except her slipper type shoes which I noticed in detail as I was looking down almost all the time. She got up to shake my hand and I was hit with full frontal then she said something like does this bother you ? If I answered I have no idea what I said. It’s one thing to see something like this on TV or movies but in the dark confines of a boat well it certainly was beyond my social skills.

So I just said where is the leak I can’t stay long. Luckily it looked like a deck leak from a fitting and the water was running down behind the ceiling into the forward bilge. So I told her no she did not have to emergency dry dock the boat but I really must go now. Back at the office the owner was back and ask how it went but as I started to explain he and the secretary busted out laughing. What a set up. Later I ran into a reefer mechanic I knew and he was surprised I didn’t know about the ‘ naked trapeze lady ‘ ‘ everybody knows what the are going to run into if they get a call from her ‘. There is a lot to learn in this business, I’m thinking maybe I should go back to work with my tools

Rick
 
I’d been working as a start up surveyor for about seven months and was used primarily for wooden hull inspections as that was my background. I got back to the office one day about three hours early as the boat I was to have surveyed was such a wreck the buyer backed out at my suggestion. When I walked in the office the secretary who spent her entire life around tuna boats and/or working in a cannery and knew the waterfront says to me Rick can you do Bill ( the owner ) a favor ? I figure sure I could use the points what is it. She tells me it is an old customer who lives on a converted wood halibut schooner and she has a leak or two and needs advice right now. You’ll like her cause she was a circus trapeze star for years and has a lot of good stories. Okay I’ll go right now call her and tell her I’m coming.

Well the boat was laying at an old Fellows & Stewart facility in Los Angeles Harbor and was easy to find as halibut boat conversions aren’t easy to hide? I tap on the deck a few times and the lady yells come on in. I can hear opera style music playing but I open the companionway and step down into the saloon. It’s pretty dark and I can just barely make out a number of cats scurrying around and the place smells like cats if you know what I mean. What is it with old ladies and herds of cats anyway ?

I could see her setting at the table but my eyes weren’t completely adjusted. So I gave her my name as usual then stepped up to the table to place my business card on it. That’s when my eyes got into focus and I noticed this old lady is completely bare ass naked ! Oh no what’s going on here, my feeble brain is racing, so do I run or play this out ? She must be in her 80’s with long white hair big bright red strange looking ear rings like a Gypsy might wear in the movies, and not a stitch of clothing on except her slipper type shoes which I noticed in detail as I was looking down almost all the time. She got up to shake my hand and I was hit with full frontal then she said something like does this bother you ? If I answered I have no idea what I said. It’s one thing to see something like this on TV or movies but in the dark confines of a boat well it certainly was beyond my social skills.

So I just said where is the leak I can’t stay long. Luckily it looked like a deck leak from a fitting and the water was running down behind the ceiling into the forward bilge. So I told her no she did not have to emergency dry dock the boat but I really must go now. Back at the office the owner was back and ask how it went but as I started to explain he and the secretary busted out laughing. What a set up. Later I ran into a reefer mechanic I knew and he was surprised I didn’t know about the ‘ naked trapeze lady ‘ ‘ everybody knows what the are going to run into if they get a call from her ‘. There is a lot to learn in this business, I’m thinking maybe I should go back to work with my tools

Rick

Rick, you failed to mention your own age nor how many days you had been at sea. :D :rofl:
 
I’m 75 pushing 76 and never been to sea so long that she looked good

Did she ever contact you again? Perhaps with an offer to make you dinner?
By the way, I am pushing 80. So I get to tease you.
 
Greetings,
Mr. g. "...go back to work with my tools."


iu
 

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